ah. training today was sucky. D: sorry kimberly and liting. for like. getting so upset with y'all even though it was understandable that y'all couldnt toss very properly. but actually it wasnt that bad la (:
im really sorry okay D: shucks la. blew up at them. dunno why always get so irritatable during training. this sucks la. like 24hrs pms. whole day "hurry up la!" "take more initiative can!" "i dont need to always tell you la!" "dont stick so much la." "help the team can?" ugh, i wish i didnt need to scold as much >< i really really dont want to scold y'all okay. espesp batchies. im so sorry.

i dont like to do circuit with sec 1s =X

and my arm hurttttts. so does my back. ughh! i seem to have endless problems la suck suck suck. i dont want my arm to hurt. cus that = i wont throw properly D: which really sucks. damn.

i've really been thinking, how great His love really is.
when farah said that if they die like, doing smthng for religion or on their way to religious class/smthng like that, they immediately go to heaven. i mean then, if you dont go for religious class, does that mean you dont get to heaven?
the same for buddhism. you have to offer things and whatever so that you might go to heaven/be considered good. that kind of love, its just so. CONDITIONAL. like oh you have to do this do that before you can get my love, before youre worthy of this religion.
even in the world. sometimes people are your friends because of your money, your status, your character. its just a fact. no one would like you if like ure really weird/bitchy. right?

but this love, Jesus' love. its UNCONDITIONAL. literally.
we did so many wrongs against Him. sinned so much. even put Him up there on the cross though He did no wrong.
yet, He still loved us so much. loves us now too. that when we were perfect strangers, didnt even know Him at all, he chose to die for me. because of that great love of His.
i don't deserve to be loved by Him, cus he's just so perfect. And we scorned Him. just 2008 years ago. i don't deserve to get to go to heaven. 'cus i've done so much wrong.
and i'm trying. cus i dont wanna make Him sad.
but the fact is that He loves me. before i was born, now, and forever. the fact is that i'm going to heaven. cus He lives in my heart. and because of that death upon the cross, He paid for all my past present and future sins. Such that i may become clean, and worthy to go to heaven.
You may say, why cant He just let us all into heaven since He supposedly loves us so much? and i have that answer. and that's cus He's a just God. imagine if a murderer kills a family member of yours. and the judge just say "oh because i love you, im gonna let you off" how would you feel? thats why justice has to be there.
but over justice comes love.

Think about it. who would do such a thing? to die for the people that put you up there on the cross. y'know dying on the cross is a really painful thing. every breathe you take. its like your body is tearing apart. cus ure nailed to that heavy cross.
That crown of thorns that lay upon His bloodied brow. Those stripes He bore on his back. Those nails driven into His hands. for what? for YOU AND ME, my friend. thats who He died for.

unconditional love.
my greatest friend and lover, who gave and still gives me this unconditional love. I love Him.
My God who was and is and forever will be.

You loved me, when I was so unlovely,
You sought me when I was lost;
You showed me how much You really loved me,
When You bought me at the highest cost.

There’s no greater love than this,
There’s no greater love than this,
That a man would give his life for a friend;
There’s no higher sacrifice than a man would give his life,
You have paid the highest price for me.

You chose me, when I was so unworthy,
You cleansed me with Your own blood;
You clothed me with righteousness and mercy,
And You crowned me with Your steadfast love.


the greatest love of all, and the greatest God of all.
christianity, a RELATIONSHIP, and not a RELIGION.
<3

i really think this world's gonna end. and i want you to have Him in your life. so you can go to heaven. i love you, and i dont wanna see you down below. ><
but i don't know how to tell you.
Lord, guide me please?