CONFLICT. the war's raging inside of me. part of me really wants to, but the other part doesnt. i really dont know whether i should give in. i need a person to advise me but im calling out with no reply. its something only she probably would understand. at the same time im afraid of her answer too. i really don't want to disapoint them. this might just pull us apart from the rest. in a bad way of speaking. but.

i do know that its not a very good timing. but i want it too. they want it too. but its just not too right. there are always consequences in actions. deep down i probably know it. but.

will what i do be right or wrong. theres no true answer. how would i face up to them. dont you all understand? i know we dont really like them at times n im the one facing it. but.

im just praying for an answer, a listening ear who can relate and put herself in my shoes. i really dont know what to do. so many events.

will they keep their promise? i thought i had it so nicely planned. but.

i don't want to regret my actions. i feel so weak-willed. unable to stand up for my true thinking. but.

conflicting actions, yet no right answer. i'm just waiting for another point of view. you'll understand, i know. yet no one is able to give me an answer. why.

maybe deep down i know it, maybe i dont. it'll never go away till i make the decision. and everything lies solely on MY shoulders.