argh. i dont wanna talk about yesterday. i jus wonder what they'll do. what they'll do about that lame ass dumb idiot. what a sucker. but its wrong, isnt it? we'll just wait and see. wait for him to disappear. wait for him to go. wait for the future. i cant imagine what will happen though. a ____?
its just that feeling. sometimes. that you just dont care. why dont you? i just cant understand. they've always come. yet you dont go AT ALL. whats wrong? whats the big thing holding you back? its always been just me alone. you promised you would. then where were you? its just so... argh. if they're gonna do that, all the more i should right? i dont want to invent anymore excuses. NOT ANYMORE. if you really cared, you would have been there. right? but you werent. so what does that prove. maybe nothing to you, but a real something to me.
i hope this doesn't hurt us, i hope it never will. please understand. this is just something i've been thinking about. and its been troubling me. i want us to be alright. but the big thing is just so near! i cant believe that you can just not care.

so many stupidic problems. its not as if i care dont care. i just cant get them away. n i'll be awaiting tomorrow. but with a heavy heart though. but still, i'll wait and see. see what comes and what goes. please dont make them so upset. its not fair for them. you just add on to their burden. they really want to. but do you?

i jus cant help feeling this way. the way they tell me. there's just so many problems. i'll be awaiting. i really need your support. but ure just not there. you just come and go, like a butterfly flitting in and out. never worrying, never caring. but there are consequences. have you ever thought about that? its just so real to me. all this









<33 jocelyn