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Hello Sunshine ./ Jocelyn. There is a God who loves me. Psalm 73:25-26 ./ Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Archives /
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Little wonders do I simply pass in and out? a sojourner with no p... Learning to speak Playing music truly makes me happy. It's gotta be ... For Martha Some goodbyes are filled with much fanfare, and mu... I think existing is giving me a headache When you're probably doing so poorly in mental hea... I go through hours and days and hours and days the... Journeying to the sun Credits /
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//Saturday, January 30, 2010 9:58 PM
The things we all talk about. Well.
I'd be better off not knowing anyway. It's like 2 different worlds, but I know which one I'm choosing anyway :) What will the world think? Are we just like everyone else, or do we stand out, and be different for Christ? What then, is the true mark of a Christian
//Wednesday, January 27, 2010 8:00 PM
I hate it when people speak mockingly of faith. Like it's so ridiculous, and dumb. But I can't blame her, because if I were her, I wouldn't see the meaning in all that as well.
Works will never qualify how holy we are. We are only made holy and righteous because of the blood of Jesus Christ, because He paid the price for all our lackings and iniquities (ie Sin). There is no other way. And there will be no other way. And I feel sad. Because she has not experienced the reality of God, the reality of the Saviour. So many times, I feel like standing up and saying it out loud. I feel like speaking of who I put my trust in, of in whom my values are formed, and my definitions of concepts which cannot be separated from God. But society does not allow it. No one would understand, because it is a stumbling block for Jews and foolishness for Gentiles. Yet this is not foolishness, it is wisdom. And one day all the world will see that You are God. Is this what it means, to be apart from the world? For I feel, so very alien.
//Monday, January 25, 2010 9:24 PM
I cannot seem to figure out the rationale of the curriculum. Is it absolutely necessary to cram so many things that the concepts and appreciation of the intricacies of each topic gets blurred beneath the rush and rigour?
Is it so necessary to teach so much content, most of which will be forgotten in a year or so? Ohwell. Me and my gripes :) Tomorrow, this is it. Let's go, team :)
//Sunday, January 24, 2010 4:39 PM
So done with English!!!! Thank God :)
What. A. Relief. Ting xie, here I come!
//Saturday, January 23, 2010 11:28 PM
English is crazy. I bet no other class has to do these stuff seriously the length of the articles itself are just flabbergasting. And in a span of a few hours I have enlarged my vocabulary to include words like:
acrolect mesolect basilect diphthongs affricate unaspirated Oh the list could just go on. Some of these words the computer dictionary doesn't even recognise. The english department must be so pleased ._. I am so going to sleep. Enough of Fareed Zakaria and whatever not. I have never done/had so much work in my entire secondary school life. :O (since PSLE did have quite alot to do) Honestly, deep down in side, I miss you guys too. I miss being comfortable around y'all.
//Thursday, January 21, 2010 9:40 PM
It's so annoying that I feel sick one day and when I decide to rest I suddenly get better again. Goodness.
Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARA :D Hehe I know you really enjoyed your surprise. And yes I am amazed at what perfect timing there was, because we honestly never coordinated anything haha! I haven't had such an exciting time in my life for a very long time hahahaha all that adrenaline. Yup, God bless you always. Thanks for being such a great friend and caring so much all the time :) Love ya. So little left, can we make it? Can we do this? And to what extent? How will it all turn out. This is not how I wish to spend my last year.
//Wednesday, January 20, 2010 8:34 PM
It is at such times like these we reflect on the frailty of life, and the reality of it all. Today, was a sombre day for RGS. From the principals, to the teachers, to the students. Just yesterday we were all writing notes to her with a hope of a chance.
But today we all received the news that she was gone. The question that was burning in my mind was: Was she a Christian? That. Would have answered every other thing. As I sat in the hall wondering, the answer came from J.Hoo "According to Buddhist rituals." And all my intent just whooshed away and I fell back upon my two palms as if in defeat. Buddhist. That means, she doesn't have a chance, not anymore anyway. That means, she's gonna spend an eternity in the lake of fire. What does an eternity mean to us? Is it even fathomable. But yeah, eternity. Where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Eternity. How many people die everyday, and remain unreached? How often do we go about caring about merely our own concerns? Do we love God's people the way He loves them? How many more people, are going to spend their eternities without the hope of salvation, forever more? When, will we realise the urgency of the situation? When, will I? And now even though it's useless to say all these, but I really regret. I regret all the thoughts that I had towards her that were not pleasant, that were not pleasing to both God and man. The superficiality of it all. When I judged at that time, when I chose to judge, little did I know this was someone leaving so soon. Little did I know this was the most dedicated teacher ever to both her students and especially the foreign scholars. For all it's worth, I'm sorry, Ms Low. This is such a wake up call. For me, for everyone I guess. I'm sorry I ever judged you. Words that were implied and feelings in my head are as good as saying it right out in your face. To watch my words, my thoughts. When will I realise the reality of the frailty of life? I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow; A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapour in the wind. But from everlasting to everlasting, Thou art God 7The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the LORD blows on it; surely the people are grass. 8The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever. Isaiah 40:7-8 Thank you Ms Low, for all that you were, and still are. And the notes of regret, still hang in the air.
//Tuesday, January 19, 2010 9:37 PM
It makes me wonder why things are like that when I see how other people feel about it. It's just wow, world's apart.
After all is said and done, what's left? I really thank God ultra lots for sustaining me and giving me strength and preventing me from getting sick (!!!!) seriously man. If not for Him I know I would have just crashed :)
//Sunday, January 17, 2010 10:17 PM
In a sadistic way it's nice to know that someone finally understands. But you know what, this is not something that people. Should be made to go through.
We all get tired. It's been this way since forever.
And if this all ends in nothing, I don't know what I'm left with. Of all these. Of 4 years. After giving so much, this is not the time to give up. This is where the strength of your character is tested. But what can I do. It's so much easier to say it than to do it, than to display it. And believe in it. But I say, HOPE in the Lord. "Hope" - waiting and expecting something good My hope will be in the Lord. My heart will be still before the Lord, to whom I completely surrender to. Like a weaned child in his mother's bosom. Who do I play for? Man? Or God? How ever things work out, Lord. Thy will be done. I could say that I don't care. I could say that I'm going to walk away. That I will. I could say this all doesn't matter. Not at all. But I know those are but lies. Because try as I might, I can't. So I won't. Because now. My hope is not in man, but in the Lord. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. Romans 5:5
//Tuesday, January 12, 2010 10:05 PM
God, I will dwell in Your rest. You are my refuge.
And You're teaching me that. Slowly, but surely, I will learn. Holy Spirit enable me.
//Monday, January 11, 2010 10:15 PM
Greater things have yet to come, Greater things are still to be done here :)
//Sunday, January 10, 2010 9:40 PM
1 week of January is gone! But it has been quite a horrible week la really. So fatigued and exhausted.
2 nights of sleeping at 10.30pm did help like a great deal in rejuvenating me :) So yay. It's all really getting to me. Frustration, short fuses, exhaustion, stress, chaos, anger and a sense of futility characterizes my life now. Oh joy ._. Oh Lord would You just be my guide and strength. I am weak, but You are strong. There's too many things swirling around, in every aspect. I feel like I'm drowning. Waiting to crash and burn. I need You. The sec3s are going for obssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. :( I wannanananananana go!!!!!!
//Thursday, January 07, 2010 9:09 PM
School. Is killing me.
I haven't felt so fatigued in really long. I can't even concentrate during QT. Argh. Body needs to adjust like NOW. I think I'm going to sleep. Goodnight
//Tuesday, January 05, 2010 8:39 PM
Whilst some things are looking up for the year, some things just tell me it's gonna be a freefall downhill. I don't even want to be there.
Stop it. It's getting us no where. Unless this is where you want to remain. Stagnated. Does this year mean nothing at all? Ok ok. Just a little bit more
//Monday, January 04, 2010 8:34 PM
Back to school tomorrow!
What an adjustment to make. Ha. Ok actually quite excited for this year. Gosh I just typed next year. Haha still living in the past. Then the rigour of the school year will start again. More so for this year. Waking up early for 5 days plus the increased intensity of training for season and pining for the weekends haha. Ok so life begins again. Dumdeedee
//Sunday, January 03, 2010 8:07 PM
Reading blogs are so much easier than actually typing a post haha. Less thinking and effort on the fingers involved. And it's therapeutic, for me at least :)
Anyway. I was just thinking about 2010. I guess alot of times we expect a new year to come with well new beginnings and a fresh start and just everything associated with new years (correct me if I'm wrong because that was my thinking too). I mean of course it does provide opportunities for fresh starts and all don't get me wrong. New years are fabulous times to start moving on with a fresh and hopeful outlook. But how often do we consciously or subconsciously expect some miracle change in our attitudes and everything we set out to achieve as soon as we step into the new year? It's like. First of Jan becomes some greatly awaited day that on this day, I will be able to have fresh courage, a more persevering will, and I can change everything in just a snap, just because, it's a new year. We think to ourselves, this year I'm going to do this and that and this. Especially thinking of what I wanna achieve for God, and to develop and grow my relationship with Him, in this "fresh start". But all too often it just becomes empty words, and empty promises. When this year rolled around, I was filled with great hope and expectancy. I was somehow expecting the miracle change. To be ultra motivated to do my QT, to always be fresh up and running for God, to be bold in sharing the gospel. But to my disappointment, it didn't happen. I mean obviously, what was I thinking right? But yeah. But in all that talk. There's something different now. Because at least there's a will. But today the realization hit me that, that's not enough. All that I set out to achieve, I have to work for it, I have to actually, DO IT. It is more than just thinking it in my head and setting out to do it, it is a choice I have to take. At the same time remembering that all of this is not by my own might, for I cannot. But it is God who wills it so. And I pray that this year I will walk in His will. And not deviate too much from it, but when I do, that I'll be brought back. And I know He'll bring me back. He always does. So why not this year, go and actually work for your new year resolutions? :) This is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3 Ok I'm going to shock myself with my timetable now hahaha thank God school only starts on Tuesday hehehe
//Saturday, January 02, 2010 2:07 PM
Ok I finally finished my year end reflections in my journal haha but there are so many more things running through my mind! But I guess since that's over and done with, it's time to store all those stuff into a dusty corner of my brain, ready to be replayed over and over again.
For now, we move on :) School is starting really soon. Actually I do look forward to first day haha. There ain't much to do. I lost my chem homework. Bam. This is bad. I didn't even remember having homework please. Haha grace totally stole your line. Anyway I miss you guys. So it'd be good seeing everyone again :D Thank you everyone who made 2009 such a wonderful marvellous fabulous blessed blessed year. Especially all those from church who really made my year :) Haha you know who you are la huh. But all in all, thank God the Sovereign one and the Most High. I love the King and the King loves me
//Friday, January 01, 2010 6:28 PM
Hello 2010 :)
Thank you Lord for the year that has passed and the year that is to come. I haven't had time to sit down and reflect and I guess I'm not gonna do it here. Maybe another time when I'm done with it personally haha. Yeah but. It's been a really awesome year :) Love all of you guys. For He is faithful. More faithful than I could ever be. For He is good. He's given me the best gift of all. For He is everlasting. He never fails. For He is Lord. Sovereign, over all. A thousand more things I could add. But all in all, For He is my everything. And I could never ask for more. Thank you Lord. Love you always.
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