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Hello Sunshine ./ Jocelyn. There is a God who loves me. Psalm 73:25-26 ./ Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Archives /
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Little wonders do I simply pass in and out? a sojourner with no p... Learning to speak Playing music truly makes me happy. It's gotta be ... For Martha Some goodbyes are filled with much fanfare, and mu... I think existing is giving me a headache When you're probably doing so poorly in mental hea... I go through hours and days and hours and days the... Journeying to the sun Credits /
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//Sunday, August 30, 2009 8:43 PM
I need to haul my butt to do Lit PT seriously. This afternoon has been searching for poems in vain. Decided to use London and if Miss Ling says I can't cus we alr did it in class I can just go jump off a building. I really hope I'll have enough time to do like tmr. Tuesday is really out of the question already I think. :/
Tmr is teacher's day celebration haha really doesn't feel like. Totally forgot to make/do anything this year. Even my BROTHER is getting cards for like 2 teachers lol. Why don't I have anything to write anymore haha.
//Saturday, August 29, 2009 1:32 PM
Wow now I know what sitting at someplace from like 8-5 can do man! WAAAAAY TIRING. Even if it was just sitting and listening. Today starts off the long weekend! Yay.
Need to do lit pt though hais. Right now I'm hit by the realization that moot is entirely over. And it feels kinda.... Empty. Especially since last week was pretty intense. I really hope we'll all keep in touch esp with Chang Xian. Good times good times. Bittersweet end. I seem to have this problem with moving forward. My mind tends to wander to things past alot, like how I keep thinking of ways we could have spoke in the debate that would have really guaranteed a win haha. Ohwell, then I remind myself its all over. Still sleepy.
//Friday, August 28, 2009 7:18 PM
I just wanted to say, HOW AWESOME MY TEAM IS!!!! I am so proud so proud of us, Emily Zhitian Xinyi you guys are the best team ever. And also to the best mentor in the world, Chang Xian! :D
I love you guys this has been like a really great ride and ended off with a nice big bang! Great journey and ending is bittersweet. Do wish we could do it all over again :/ Ahwell. This also marks the next year of slacking during rs! Hahahaha. Yup. Ok, dinner and cell hais time oh time so rushedddd.
//Thursday, August 27, 2009 8:35 PM
Tomorrow moot concludes. Bittersweet actually hahaha at least we wouldn't need to work on it anymore. But actually it's been really interesting :) Plus the nicest/best mentor ever haha :D And we didn't spend too much time on it la haha okay maybe Zhi Tian, thanksssss. Heee.
Hope I survive the shoes! :O
//Wednesday, August 26, 2009 8:47 PM
Can't wait for the weekends! Mon half day then tues hols too :D Whoopee. And apparently Monday is really. Nothing to do in sch. Don't even have concert I might just pon man -.-
Fridayz. Oh good thing chem's over. I just realised lit pt has to be handed in kinda really soon. The proposals at least. Bleah. Suddenly the work seems to be coming back and it's so ironic cus SAs and most PTs are over! Dang. The school system and people are just so rigid if I were Dr S I would quit too :) Ladeedum
//Tuesday, August 25, 2009 9:59 PM
I give up on geog, moot, and everything else haha. This has been one busy night. Oh yeah, there's still chem to be studied. And lit to be started on.
Lubx my lyfez. ~ Wanted to write a poem, Even got the words. Couldn't write the poem, Why oh why. Time.
//Monday, August 24, 2009 5:36 PM
I was supposed to.... Sleep and watch hannah montana and do chem. Hm, obviously not happening. Today feels like well, something around the middle of the week.
Just realised that mock debate with Dr Sakhar is tmr lol. If what zhitian says is correct, I'm still the 4th speaker. Ha slackers ftw ;D Ladeedum. Sleepyz but its so late alr. i wish i had music but all i have is words i wish i had a pair of socks but all i have is one i wish i had a picture but all i have is paint i wish i had a little more but all i have is- none. It is time for me to join the grace seow fanclub (when it exists which = never, but still) hahaha. GRACE ARE YOU HONOURED.
//Sunday, August 23, 2009 6:50 PM
Been a busy tiring but REALLY GOOD weekend! :D I always love my weekends so so much. Friday was movie night at church Freedom Writers is a GREAT movie. It was so touching and heart warming and thought provoking at the same time. And the best thing is it was a true story. Went for Peter Tsukahira's conference thing on Sat morning-afternoon. Time flew man and it was really really good. Then RADICAL. Pure awesomeness. Thank you Radical team! Really really good and I worshipped and danced with all my heart oh Lord won't you take joy in our worship! COMPELLING COMPASSION was the theme. To do justly, to love mercy, to walk humbly with You O God. Today went to BBTC for service with my mum then went to moot haha did work until both laptops ran out of batt. Ok la quite productive but really sleepy. Then we found this bouncy arena thing which was super fun. We all went crazy there manxz hahahaha. Lucky Chang Xian went home first otherwise it would've been really awkward ;D I know now that I'm not gonna give up, I can't. Lord would You give me Your grace to obey and forgive, and let me catch that wave of Your revival that's coming crashing on our shores.
//Thursday, August 20, 2009 8:41 PM
Sometimes like these things happen to make the road ahead seem so much easier and so much brighter :) Today was a really great day. I wish I had more of these. Fulfilled, content, mmm.
Today is the day, You have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!
//Wednesday, August 19, 2009 8:41 PM
I got new curtains!!! Hahahaha. Niceeee :D Went to Subway to study and spent the bulk of the time studying....... CHINESE. "Oh the horror!" But yes, chinese -.- I am determined to pass my zuowen okay seriously if I don't remember all the stuff I memorized tmr I'm just going to keeeeel myself.
Alright, at least I have the night free :) Geog lit and chinese tmr. Go figure. Wonderful planning RGS, simply impecable :)
//Monday, August 17, 2009 6:52 PM
I'm done with SS/Eng speech! BE JEALOUS ALL OF YOU :D Which means for the next 2 english blocks I can effectively stone and await my results. But then would have to start preparing for moot debate. I still think 3 out of 4 teams from RGS getting in for prop is just ridiculous. Where's the fun in that alr la lol. Ohwell.
Chinese is rather worrying I really need to pass. Oh c'mon week 8 fly past fly pasttttttt.
//Sunday, August 16, 2009 3:23 PM
I want to shleeeeeeeep. Need to finish my SS speech today today today. Hais this is giving me a headache. Guess I'm not going for bball already then. I wish there was a template for writing the speech and I hope I don't go over time! How long is 3min on paper anyway :/
//Saturday, August 15, 2009 8:28 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE (seow) Love you lotsssssss my best friend in like school haha the COOL ONES. Don't think you'll see this but anyway. ;) Thanks so much for fish and co and yesterday was such a great night. Off to do your card see you mondayyyyyyy. I know you had a great great birthday haha whoo! Alrightos, yesterday was. Really good. The night/evening la at least. Bathed in school and changed there too got alot of stares and like 2 sec1s came into the toilet and didn't know I was there and they were like "This toilet smells great" Ha I know I smell great LOL. And when I came out and they came out from the toilet they suddenly just went quiet hahaha. Fish and Co was really good the fish was huge really. Walked and my legs ached like crazy finally settled at Gloria Jeans bought my Cocoa Loco haha Naj loco loco loco 8D "Told you alr its so Loco-y!" HAHAHA. Had great fun. Went to grace's house for like what. 10 min haha! Home and slept till 12 today finally man its been so long since i've slept in! Ok off to do the card today's internet is rather wonky
//Wednesday, August 12, 2009 8:20 PM
Ah why do I feel so tired nowadays. Need to sleeeeeeep. Geog is next week I don't know what's going on in class the moment she starts talking I really really want to drift off to sleep. :O Need to prepare my speech soon my exec summary marks sucked alot I'm not too sure why too :/ Hais.
Normality is the best :)
//Tuesday, August 11, 2009 8:40 PM
Ah that's it. I've had enough of IE I'm switching to google chrome foreverxzxzxzxz. So many popups like of the same thing I closed it so many billion times!! I just realised I haven't signed in to MSN wow that's like amazing. Lol.
Bio Math English over TODAY. Hm let's see what's left. Lit Geog SS PT Lit PT. Ho hum, term 3 is looking up! :D Just because its ending. I realised when things are fine and you look back at the times when things were well, not so fine, you feel like they were not really that big after all. But the fact is when you're experiencing it at that time it was really so bad and that feeling of drowning and losing yourself. Ohwell, at least it's all over now. :) Dec hols dec hols dec hols won't you come really soon? Finally, a break. Short lived but still, a break :D
//Monday, August 10, 2009 7:01 PM
500th post! Haha just happened to realise. Wow man. Been a long way, lol. Just came back from Clara's house. :) Did manage to study la hahaha finished what I set out to do at least. Actually I realised there's nothing much but bio is just sooooo painful and boring to study ._. Understanding is still okay, but revision? Hais.
Hope I can still remember the stuff tmr. And worried for english mannn. :/ I'll go read food reviews just in case. Like really so insecure cus I didn't do the FA bleah. Finished reading Keeping Faith finally in the midst of all the busy-ness and what not. I didn't really understand the ending though. Like the last few pages. Haha but it was not bad la. Ah and I learnt an interesting thing. Passion comes from the latin root Passio which means to suffer. Hm. Ah and also revisited Christ's sacrifice and love for me, for us. How we the sinners treated him, so terribly, pouring upon him contempt and scorn. I'm sorry Lord. This, is the extent of Jesus' love. A love that I cannot fully express or grasp.
//Sunday, August 09, 2009 9:52 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE :)I have.... Renewed patriotism for Singapore :) Esp after day of His power hahaha. Even though I don't like to express it, I'm still proud of this country la. To be Singaporean and all, I won't imagine myself as any other nationality really. Haha. Visited Yuen's church today, had quite a nice time. Talked and stuff haha sorry Yuen I'm starting to sound like I'm delivering a sermon right lol. STUDIED. WHOO. Went for bball, again. Hahaha. I realised that through it all I missed playing softball alot, like in the midst of picking up all these other sports. It's my, field of "expertise" (no pun intended), my forte, my well, area. Everytime I shoot and miss I rmb how I would throw, with that accuracy and speed, I rmb how my wrist would flick the ball and how it would leave my fingers spinning with that snap. :) Oh and I also worked this thought out, that playing in a guy's world as the only girl, is a very. humbling experience. Esp for one like me. Haha.
//Saturday, August 08, 2009 8:47 PM
Bball finally today. Waaaaay off form :( So irritated with myself. But the last game was good :) Albeit extremely tiring plus the fact that there wasnt any more water.
Haven't been sleeping well, tired tired tired tired. Bah. The weather so hot somemore. Off to Yuen's church tmr :) Tired. Need to sleep. Need to talk to alot of people about various things. Sometimes, all I listen to are my thoughts, till I can't pay attention to other voices. It's unhealthy. Dear Coach, Please know that you are the only/one of the few human beings on this planet that can command that much of my respect. There are so many things I'd like to tell you, of things I know you see but don't speak of, of how you are the best coach in the world to me, of how you don't deserve to be in this situation, of how I feel about it all. Coach, I could never ask for a better coach than you. If you ever go, I really don't know, what I would do. And I know, not going on, will just break your heart. I know you'll never ever see this, but ohwell. Jocelyn.
//Thursday, August 06, 2009 11:23 PM
Seeing your name there on the display, mixed feelings mixed feelings. I wish things would mend by itself, I wish 'time heals all wounds' is true. But some things need to be taken head on and not passively. Words that have long been withheld have to be said. Feelings suppresed that have to be faced up to. Thoughts shared so that one can see.
"A ship in a harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are made for" I still remember this, veery well. But I'm sorry cus now, I'm not willing to lose sight of the shore to sail this particular ocean. That's why, I'll probably just be waiting, all my life. K that's really exaggerated, but, yeah. Where, is that courage I used to have. That, fearlessness. I'm excited for tmr :D Love you buddy~
// 8:33 PM
I'm finally through this day. Relieved x123456789 :) :) :)
It's like this emotional rollercoaster ride, but in the end things turn out okay. Like revert back to normal. I have this huge feeling that if I continue in that, whether I like it or not, I'll be losing myself soon. Please Lord, don't let that happen.
//Wednesday, August 05, 2009 5:46 PM
I finally feel free and like life is back to normal ;D For today at least. Must the the completed chinese pt haha. Presentation tmr then really all over. Tomorrow is the last day of the week! Kinda, since Friday's just national day celebration and all = school ends at like what, 9+? Complete waste of my time wish I didn't need to be there :/ Hais. Ohwell.
I started to appreciate Wordsworth's Lines composed a few miles above Tintern Abbey today. Like cus I finally start to understand it, the first part at least hehe :) I've been very stupid. Want to go and ram my head into a wall I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER EVER USE LEXIS NEXIS AND OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS MR CHEW WHY DID YOU REMIND ME OF ITS EXISTANCE ONLY TODAY!!!! Hais. They could be lifesavers man. If I'd known earlier ._.
//Tuesday, August 04, 2009 6:04 PM
Time. Tick tock.
Subway & me = best study buddy combination ever. Started out with needing to get lunch, and I haven't studied out like properly in awhile. My studying = doing work la half the time. Just realised how expensive the sandwiches are. Ohwell. I suddenly miss alot of things. Like alot. Camp for one. Ah, I had such a great time. :D Then there was lowest key too haha and the convos after that. Poker face~ Momomomo hahahahaha. Don't even know why we had that conference call actually hahaha but it was really funny. I just saw like the schedule of what's gonna happen these few weeks, not to mention CCA's ongoing too. Which is just, mad. Bahh, nevermind I will work hard and God will help me get thru these weeks!! Off to do chinese ppt. Lol. Oh I miss doing Blake too. Wordsworth is so. Thick and dense and I cannot make sense of it, neither can I relate to it. I got a new favourite poet and his name is Mr William Blake :) Time. Tick tock.
//Monday, August 03, 2009 9:18 PM
Today.
Slowly I pick myself up, pick up where I left off, pick up the pieces that I let go of. Light is breaking into this darkness :) I'm standing up where I fell. Restoring what was broken, so it may fly again
//Sunday, August 02, 2009 8:50 PM
Lord I need your grace to get me through the days.
These days are depressing. Songs uplift though. Thank God for songs that comfort and remind me of His love and sovereignity. When my failures feel as if they will consume me, and everything is in pieces before me. I always forget the constants and the shining lights in my life. Everytime I close my eyes; Drowning and losing myself, in the chaos and confusion. But you are still God, in the midst of it all.
// 4:24 PM
In the midst of my thoughts I forgot the real things. Ha. Been passing through days pretty floatily. No such word but nvm haha. Not really myself don't know why too. It's tiring going out even for awhile cus like I just recovered and all.
Yesterday was nice (: Went out to study with wen at the airport and froze like an icicle. Didn't get much/any work done I need remedial I really don't know how to do the stuff. Hm yeah and then church and cell where we went to the -drumrolll- rooftop! Haha super cool. Should have gone there during lowest key and no one would ever find us! Totally phailz la move here and there hahaha. Watched sword xchange finals (senior) which was amusing lol then went for dinner 3 little pigs. We ate (excluding me) for really long. Lol. I keep thinking of this year's ndp song! I see the moon and the stars~~ Haha so lamez. I am so tired of doing work, work, work. It's this endless cycle isn't it. I think term 3 is really really taking its toll on me. It's plain horrible. Cant wait till eoys end. Argh. Having to continually hand up something or get tested on something almost every week is just driving me crazy. Stupid chinese pt. |
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