whatever you may say, i still believe in Jesus. cus i believe in His love.
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

look, He says He has overcome the world such that we might put our trust in Him. He loved and loves us so much. i do not worry of what may happen because of this trust. no matter what i face, God will be there for me. And i KNOW it.
it's always available to you. He's never denied this gift of love, friendship and salvation to anyone. it is you who denies Him.
he's there, knocking on your heart's door. won't you invite Him in? wont you accept this gift that He's given to you? though its not of any occasion or for anything you've done, He just wants to give you this gift. the most wonderful gift in the world.

He's always loved you. I'm serious. I know because I've experienced His wonderful and marvelous love.

Jesus loves you.

jocelyn oh God, is this the sign that i've been asking for? if yes, then what does it mean?

thank you. you really helped me realise. thank you john.
and i still think that its really cool you are one too :D

<3 jocelyn.

ah. training today was sucky. D: sorry kimberly and liting. for like. getting so upset with y'all even though it was understandable that y'all couldnt toss very properly. but actually it wasnt that bad la (:
im really sorry okay D: shucks la. blew up at them. dunno why always get so irritatable during training. this sucks la. like 24hrs pms. whole day "hurry up la!" "take more initiative can!" "i dont need to always tell you la!" "dont stick so much la." "help the team can?" ugh, i wish i didnt need to scold as much >< i really really dont want to scold y'all okay. espesp batchies. im so sorry.

i dont like to do circuit with sec 1s =X

and my arm hurttttts. so does my back. ughh! i seem to have endless problems la suck suck suck. i dont want my arm to hurt. cus that = i wont throw properly D: which really sucks. damn.

i've really been thinking, how great His love really is.
when farah said that if they die like, doing smthng for religion or on their way to religious class/smthng like that, they immediately go to heaven. i mean then, if you dont go for religious class, does that mean you dont get to heaven?
the same for buddhism. you have to offer things and whatever so that you might go to heaven/be considered good. that kind of love, its just so. CONDITIONAL. like oh you have to do this do that before you can get my love, before youre worthy of this religion.
even in the world. sometimes people are your friends because of your money, your status, your character. its just a fact. no one would like you if like ure really weird/bitchy. right?

but this love, Jesus' love. its UNCONDITIONAL. literally.
we did so many wrongs against Him. sinned so much. even put Him up there on the cross though He did no wrong.
yet, He still loved us so much. loves us now too. that when we were perfect strangers, didnt even know Him at all, he chose to die for me. because of that great love of His.
i don't deserve to be loved by Him, cus he's just so perfect. And we scorned Him. just 2008 years ago. i don't deserve to get to go to heaven. 'cus i've done so much wrong.
and i'm trying. cus i dont wanna make Him sad.
but the fact is that He loves me. before i was born, now, and forever. the fact is that i'm going to heaven. cus He lives in my heart. and because of that death upon the cross, He paid for all my past present and future sins. Such that i may become clean, and worthy to go to heaven.
You may say, why cant He just let us all into heaven since He supposedly loves us so much? and i have that answer. and that's cus He's a just God. imagine if a murderer kills a family member of yours. and the judge just say "oh because i love you, im gonna let you off" how would you feel? thats why justice has to be there.
but over justice comes love.

Think about it. who would do such a thing? to die for the people that put you up there on the cross. y'know dying on the cross is a really painful thing. every breathe you take. its like your body is tearing apart. cus ure nailed to that heavy cross.
That crown of thorns that lay upon His bloodied brow. Those stripes He bore on his back. Those nails driven into His hands. for what? for YOU AND ME, my friend. thats who He died for.

unconditional love.
my greatest friend and lover, who gave and still gives me this unconditional love. I love Him.
My God who was and is and forever will be.

You loved me, when I was so unlovely,
You sought me when I was lost;
You showed me how much You really loved me,
When You bought me at the highest cost.

There’s no greater love than this,
There’s no greater love than this,
That a man would give his life for a friend;
There’s no higher sacrifice than a man would give his life,
You have paid the highest price for me.

You chose me, when I was so unworthy,
You cleansed me with Your own blood;
You clothed me with righteousness and mercy,
And You crowned me with Your steadfast love.


the greatest love of all, and the greatest God of all.
christianity, a RELATIONSHIP, and not a RELIGION.
<3

i really think this world's gonna end. and i want you to have Him in your life. so you can go to heaven. i love you, and i dont wanna see you down below. ><
but i don't know how to tell you.
Lord, guide me please?

gaahh. feeling so shitty over chinese. sucky la. D: and math. i havent even told my mum my marks. okay this sucks. my grades suck. at least lit was ALRIGHT, i guess. but the memory one was supposed to be quite good, and yet i still got average marks for it only. ahwells.
but somehow, after feeling down for the whole chinese lesson, i couldnt bring myself to be down anymore after that. haha. after reading 8days and what not. i tried to feel sad again, but i couldnt. x) which is good i guess (:

sheesh. i gotta work harrrrderrr. and stop wasting my time here.

tsk. its back to like. normal school. sucky. ): i want hols/lj week back. haha and the first thing i thought about when i went back was "i want june hols". lol XD SAs suck. hmph.

i'll be here for you and i know that you'll be there too :D
i love you. these 3 words have already lost its meaning. D:


jocelyn.

WHOOO CCUBE YOU GUYS ROCK ROCK ROCK! 2ND FOR SRCS! :DDD
YAYYY. LOVE YOU GUYS!

k. shant blog more. im exhausted, and tired. ohwait, they mean they same thing. ahwells. but at the same time i feel accomplished. that we've managed to come so far. despite what everyone thought about us.
we've proved them wrong :D
when the outside world didnt believe in us, coach believed in us, seniors believed in us. i love them. like crazy. <3

ugh i cant stand it that i got a standing strikeout so many times TWO FRIGGIN NICE SLOOOW STRIKES PAST ME AND I DIDNT HIT IT. WONDERFUL -.- ugh. i got out for nothing. im sorry guys.

oh oh and, i just wanna say that OUR COACH NELSON LIM IS THE BESTEST COACH IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD :DDDD YAY.

kukup.
i "slept".
i ate alot.
i played o2jam psp.
i listened to songs.
thats bout it.
haha x) im serious. bus rides were looooooooooooong D: and i think i ate in excessive amounts today O.O like whole bus ride i was eating. seaweed la, cracker la, chips la, tau sar bun la. and ETC ETC ETC. haha.
and at the restaurant i was basically sitting with 3 ano people. namely, zhitian, emily & carey. and i just ate like nobodys business. wonderful.
grah, sungei buloh tmr i heard its boring, BUT AT LEAST I CAN WAKE UP LATE! :DDD
yay. i love learning journeys for that :D heehee.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFIQAH (BELATED) I LOVE YOOOOOUUUUUU.
hehe hope you liked the stuff that i gave :D thanks for always being there for me and listening to me. my dearest PUNCHING BAG! I LOVE YOU.
oh and and, i'll always be here for you. <3

sometimes i get so frustrated i just wanna cry.

SRCSRCS. GOOOOOOOOD FRIDAY. YESYES ITS A GOOD DAY, WE WILL DO WELL. YESYES WE WILL. (self brainwashing haha x] )
KICK FAJARS ASS ALL THE WAY TO KUKUP. THATS IT.
OHOH AND AFTER FAJAR, LETS KICK PEICAI ALL THE WAY TO AMERICA :D

WHY IS MY MATCH CANCELLED GRRRRRR.
yes i know its alr late at night but STILL! it was like a perfectly SUNNY day today. D:
sian. at least i got to go to kushinbo and go shopping :D yay.

HAPPY BE(LATED) BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE! <3
haha had great fun at her house ytd :D
im really lazy to upload pics and whatever so just go to christine/alanna's blog. x) hehh.

HEY BATCHMATES! STOP TRYING TO GUESS ALREADY! CUS Y'ALL ARE WRONNNGGGGGGGGG. XD haha!

k. i guess its enough of the emo posts.

ITS COMINGGG. :D cant wait! even though you probably can.
but hey. idc. i'm gonna make you happy. :D
AND YOU'D BETTER BE. :D


joce

maybe i really dont understand. i dont think i do anyway. but nevermind.
what i really do understand though, is that you're not your usual self anymore.
i missed those times y'know.

really. i want you to just SMILE. again. FOR REAL.
not just that empty smile. but that GENUINE smile that tells me you're happy about life and all.
i really dont know what to do now.
i'm sorry i havent been much of a help.
i don't know what to do anymore! i think it'll just make it worse.
i've kinda given up trying, but dont YOU alright.
cus we're in different positions. what happens to it, actually depends on you alone.
so yeah.
& i'm wishing the best for you (:


love, joce.

ps. HAPPY EARLY BDAY CHRISTINE WHOOO THURS THURS THURS CANT WAIT! :D

pps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICIAAAAAAAA! :D

OH MY GOSH!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE CCUBE. (plus boon of course x] )
WE DID IT AGAIN! ALL THE UNCALLED FOR WORRYING. HAHAHA.
ohwells. we gotta believe and have strength. keep the faith yeah! <3
we cant get complacent though.

WHACK WHACK WHACK ALL THE WAY CCUBBBBBE!

y'know i realised that when we've played. all together, as one. i just feel the closeness and the bond that we have. that we will stay together, no matter what. i just love that feeling. winning or losing probably wont matter. what matters is we play good and we did good. since srcs started, i've just felt this incredible thing between us. and i know that together, we can overcome all obstacles and do anything. i dont mind screaming/shouting my lungs out on the field. throwing though my elbow hurts or really doing anything for y'all. i love you ccube, from the bottom of my heart. we're a team. and we gotta stay strong. stay together. <3

<3 jocelyn.

WE DID IT WE DID IT IM SO PROUD OF YOU CCUBE. I LOVE YOU I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS LIKE CRAAAAAAAAZY!!!

OMG. TODAY IS PROBABLY THE BESTEST BESTEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
WE WON! TK TK TK. OMYGOSH.
IF WE CAN WIN TK, WE CAN WIN EVERYONE.
yet i cant help but feel nervous about tmr. crescent! ahh!

thank you SAMANTHA for pitching so well! you struck out so many! (just really sorry that i didnt catch many many times and the runner got saved D:)
thank you EUNICE for crying it out and covering 2nd base im so sorry for the lan lan throws
thank you NICO for catching many of my lousily throwed balls.
thank you COACH!!! for being the bestest coach ever and having so much FAITH in us. thanks for doing the ole ole ole ole ole thing. YOU ROCK THE MOST COACH!

and THANK YOU THANK YOU CCUBE FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE DONE. FOR FIELDING, CATCHING, THROWING, EVERYTHING. THANK YOU FOR BEING THE BESTEST PEOPLE AND THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

I LOVE BATCH YAM SENG BATCH HUG BATCH CRY BATCH DINNER BATCH LUNCH BATCH PLAYING BATCH FIELDING BATCH THROWING BATCH CATCHING BATCH SLEEPOVER BATCH OUTING BATCH EVERYTHING

TOMORROW. ITS LIKE. TOMORROW.

finally the day comes. we gotta just go out there and do our thing yeah!

tkgs. tkgs. how are we gnna get thru this? we're gonna do it. theres nothing to fear.


joce.

SRCS SRCS SRCS. TWO DAYS. TWO DAYS.

whoo! srcs are cominggggg.
its gonna be our first time playing as a team batch, first time playing as a catcher in a REAL GAME
RGSSOFTBALLCDIV.
I LOVE YOU CCUBE! <3
its our year. so we gotta shine.
we gotta show them. we're not gonna be what we were. this is the future.
and we're gonna make HISTORY.

nico i know you can throw, i know you can catch it properly. i know you can bat. you've proven yourself! so i wanna see that batting out there. overcome your fears. as one team. we'll be there for you.
alanna/nat/kelly/sam i know you can pitch. you've shown me and us during trainings, so now show it to the world.
nat you've got speed, you've got power, its just the wild pitching. i know you can throw properly. just look at the target, focus.
alanna you gotta show what youre made off. i dont want anymore side pitching yeah! i know you can catch all the wonderful flys. i know it.
kelly i know you can field. i know you can throw. youre strong, use those muscles! :D
sam i know youre accurate. no more fountain-ing. no more fumbling. i know you can.
eunice i know you can run. i know you can throw. my wonderful-est outfielder.
christine i know you can field. ball first. remember. keep your mind steady and good.
emily i know you can. really. you can field, throw, bat, run. youre our teams best. know it. dont get so frustrated/angry. tell yourself that you can, and you will.
I BELIEVE IN EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU. CCUBE BELIEVES IN YOU TOO. WE GOTTA DO THIS. AND WE CAN. I JUST KNOW IT.

RGSSOFTBALLCDIV.
CCUBE WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!


love, joce

its not a maybe anymore but a definitely.
i HAVE been wrong about you. i was blinded by all those things.
somehow now, i feel that they are lies.
your secret, you said to me, but i found out, you told so many other people.
whats so secretive about that now then?
i've been fooled. and now i've finally snapped out of it.

would you just stop it?
you are just drifting around. you know why?
'cus they're just too many lies around you, too complicated, a facade.

i dont know how to differenciate the truth and the lies anymore.
i've just decided to stop listening.
and i really hope,
that you would stop taking advantage of people.
she's nice. and you know it.
you're leaning on using her.
do you know how selfish you are?

its so superficial, she knows it.
yet she carries on with it.
so please, just let her go.
its enough of using and manipulating.
it's really enough.
and guess what?
now she feels she has to help you.
a burden you've placed upon her shoulders.
she feels that she cannot go.
otherwise, where would you go?

& whats more.
i think you dont deserve it.
not at all.

cut the act. it's enough.