headlight

//Sunday, January 06, 2008 4:14 PM

Y'know how much youve disappointed so many people around you.
You have changed so much to an extent that i dont even know you much anymore.
Y'know how we feel, when you dropped that bombshell on us?
I think it would have done you good to have seen our convo.
To see the consequences that your actions have caused.
You just let us down.
Make us feel like we've wasted our time.
Wasted our energy.
That all that we have done was for absolutely nothing
That it accounted for nothing.
That it was just this frail facade that we managed to put together.
But y'know, it just crumbled.
By simply ONE sentence.
By someone that you only probably know for half a year.
It is disappointing if you didnt realise.
And im telling you now.
I dont like them. and i feel uncomfortable at the fact
That you would listen so much to them. and disregard all that we have said.
To me, you just chose to close yourself up.
Shut your ears to the things that you didnt want to hear.
Cause your mind was all along alr made up.
Then why give us all this trouble?
Cause us this hurt, distress, anger.
Gave us hope that you would at least try.
But in the end what happened?
Out of 3 of us. you didnt even listen to one.
But that sole one, you listened to.
Why so?
I agree with what she said. that if they asked you to stay, you probably will.
It makes me uncomfortable to know that they have so much influence on you.
And that to you everything is changing except them.
Whats more i feel that you are really selfish.
I promised to respect your decision.
But after thinking about it. i still do not see a concrete reason that you have produced.
The world is not just about you.
It is about you and everyone. and not just about what you feel, and think.
Do you think that score was a fluke?
Luck comes from lucifer, and lucifer is the devil.
It was not luck. it happened for a purpose, a reason.
And yes like what she said too, you only have yourself to blame.
After this. im not gonna care anymore.
After all, you wont even listen when i express my care.
So whats there to care for?
Absolutely nothing.
All my energy wasted.
For what?
I've finally come to this conclusion.
And its
Absolutely nothing.

gracia i am disappointed. really i am. did i make any difference in anything at all? and i know that answer is no. and that hurts.

thanks evan. for talking and all today. really appreciate it. lamest to the max alr. :D thank you for all the counselling and consolling that you gave. thanks for relating. love you alot. really alot. <3