i feel drained. i'm so totally out of ideas. it was such a failure.

i'm really sorry about all the emo-ing but these few days just hasnt been exactly good. -.-

gahh, piaNOOOO. teacher coming soon. i dont want theory!!! EXAM ON SAT LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ohwells, after this i shall be FREEE from piano. (: oh wow, so many caps. haha. :D

im really happy to have made a right decision. i know you may think im a spoiler but just think about it.

i really dont want it to be going in one ear and out another cant ull just LISTEN. its like a sense of togetherness that is lacking. i once thought that we had it but maybe i'm wrong. its really upsetting.

please try to put yourself in my shoes. i know, but i'm sorry. how would you feel? do you care?

the answer lies with you. think about it.

CONFLICT. the war's raging inside of me. part of me really wants to, but the other part doesnt. i really dont know whether i should give in. i need a person to advise me but im calling out with no reply. its something only she probably would understand. at the same time im afraid of her answer too. i really don't want to disapoint them. this might just pull us apart from the rest. in a bad way of speaking. but.

i do know that its not a very good timing. but i want it too. they want it too. but its just not too right. there are always consequences in actions. deep down i probably know it. but.

will what i do be right or wrong. theres no true answer. how would i face up to them. dont you all understand? i know we dont really like them at times n im the one facing it. but.

im just praying for an answer, a listening ear who can relate and put herself in my shoes. i really dont know what to do. so many events.

will they keep their promise? i thought i had it so nicely planned. but.

i don't want to regret my actions. i feel so weak-willed. unable to stand up for my true thinking. but.

conflicting actions, yet no right answer. i'm just waiting for another point of view. you'll understand, i know. yet no one is able to give me an answer. why.

maybe deep down i know it, maybe i dont. it'll never go away till i make the decision. and everything lies solely on MY shoulders.

yay, the last post was such a loonngg one :D i do realise that me, JOCELYN LANG is blogging. "like omg?!! JOCELYN, BLOGGING? so fast?!! i thought she blog like super rare one!" lol xD heehee. sorry laa, cause this type of hmm wad do you call it? misconception? lala, who knows. ohwells (: so heres my answer: yes yes im blogging (: seem to find it better nowadays eh? maybe cause my days aint so like boring -.-
haha and i realised how like boring a blog is without post ): aww. cus im like an active blog surfer and will be like not happy if i dont see new posts on other ppl's blog but it apparently doesnt bother me for MY BLOG. :DDD yay. obviously its like ME who is blogging? puh-lease. haha okay, bimbo talk XD

so hmm, yadayadayadayadayada i have no ideaaa what to do here. i really really know i am so WASTING my time here, which become UNprecious since the thursday that eoys ended so yeah. i can afford to waste time. i really apologise for the wasting of brain cells and eye power to read this crappy going on and on post. frankly, i dunno what i came here for -.- YOU SEE WHY IM NOT A FREQUENT BLOGGER?! this is SO WHY. there. cus when i have nothing to blog about or rather no inspiration to blog, my posts just all become like this where i just go on and on and on and on and on.

i think my rephrasing skills are good man. :D ive been going on for the past like 5-10 min talking about the SAME THINGS in DIFFERENT WORDS. yay i totally rock. not to mention the total lack of tagger traffic on my blog -.- ohwells.

haha moving on. i changed my blogskin! :D YAY. i like it mann. heee. and auntaye gracia finally chose a blogskin after dunno how how how how long. -.-tskk. aiyah, but its nice la. luckily. heee. search for so long scarely she put like a NOT NICE skin then i will so totally kill her.
okay, i know thats totally not my business but still, i wasted so much time being such a nice helpful senior, which i AM. :D hahaha zilian-ing. forgive me (:

hmm, my dad came back today. MANGOOO!!!! YAYY. oh and julia, i have your stickyy rice :D you better be nice otherwise i shant give it to you buahaha. jus jk. lala. and that eunice ng FINALLYYY. oh oh and talking about her post, i just realise i havent posted about that super loveely badminton outing! :D

REWIND. LAST TUES technically its this week la but since its sunday i figured it could cause some confusion o.0
okay so me, alanna, eunice n nico went all the way to TOA PAYOH to play badminton(i know what youre what youre thinking. jocelyn, you live in TANAH MERAH! why are you going all the way to TOA PAYOH to play ONE O-N-E game of BADMINTON?!!! ) my sentiments, EXACTLY. ohwells, just take it that i was feeling kinda crazy that day xD no la, apparently me n nico had so sacrifice cus we were living like at the opp ends of singapore -.-! and alanna and eunice so shuang de lor, so few stops only tskkk. aiyuh who carees, super fun la anw.
so. i was looking like an idiot taking the mrt with my humongous badminton bag wearing fbts and a yellow tee which wasnt a sports tee just sum random tee i wore at home. lol. felt super weird la ): grah. den our dear or rather BLURR nico reached at 10.25! LOL. den aft that she was like saying that why we so late and i ming ming shuo meet at 10.45. lol, blurrieee. haha.
i really felt SUPER GOOD playing badminton after like 43209480392875731 years of not playing. :DDDD okay abit exaggerated, 10mths actually. but thats still really really long. so at first both me n alanna couldnt hit. den aft that left alanna. den this stuupid eunice play with nico first then laff laff laff until cry. TSK. so badddd can! lol, she said she was like laughing cus they were better then us at first. gosh. such a sadist. anw, moving on. WE STILL WON THEM OR RATHER THRASHED THEM HAH. HAH. HAH. IN YOUR FACE EUNICE NG! XDDD
heehhee. yepp yepp! we wonnn. like both rounds. :DD buahhahaha. serve you righttee. haha then i played a set with alanna 7pts. she won 1 i won 1.
lalala it really really really really feels super good to be playing like last time again!!!! reminds me of HOW MUCH i really LOVEE badminton <3333 whee.
okay then aft that went to j8 play sum arcade games yadayada, the usual. den me n eunice went for 3rd lang. watched LETTERS FROM IWO SHIMA, REALLY GOOD MOVIE. just that kinda gory. it was nc16 so ohwells.

haha badminton reminds me of softball, in a way i guess. :D anw, alanna typed this really really nice encouraging post on her 101 class blog about eoy marks and the whole paragraph is a softball analogy of it :D ALANNA YOU MAKE SOFTBALL ROCK SO MUCH MAN! http://1ots-0f-1uv.blogspot.com/ hee (: aww but unfortunately, slow me still cant hit it good enough. ><>< scared for next year mann. gahh. at the same time cant wait for JUNIORS tooo! :DD hmm, wonder if they'll be like irritating or sumthing. haha.

okay, rather long post again. shall end heree :D byee! <3





<33 jocelyn(: (terribly sorry for not making this like as low as it was last time i just cant be bothered hee hee.)

yooooo! :D
haha yesyes i know the most recent post was emooo like TOTALLY. so hmm, scrap that! :D im perfectly happy now in a float float way. okay, what nonsense did i just spout? -.-" no float float. just happy. but sian la like obviouslayyee. its always like that in the hols aint it. but like checking of papers is coming up thats so stupidly irritating. -.- GAHHHH. hmm, sky is like darkk DAAARRRKKK. like barf vader. haha. okay, im abit like high now for no apparent reason. ohwow, started raining. -.- gotta close windows. -to be coninued-
-continued- haha at least only 1 was open :D

hmm, i had such an eventful time aft thurs eh! :D haha. but all that caused me like a REAL BAAAAD headache ytd -.- man. hmm lets see.

THURS
after sch i went home slack slack cus like ahem, eunice ng and the rest didnt want to go out. like esp eunice ng cus SOMEONE was apparently rushing home to watch her animes like WHAT? aft exams 1st thing go home n watch stuff on com -.- lame mann. ohwells. so, wen called n said that she didnt have her hmp thinggum so we went out with our JUNIORS LYDIA AND GRACIA! yay. haha they're really amusing.
-short note- GRACIA AUNTAYE LLAMA YOU HAVENT TOLD ME STORIES HMPHHH.
okay, excuse me for that. (: gracia is officially auntaye gracia or llama. whee. okay anw so back to the topic. we went to raffles city and had aimless wandering -.- haha. while waiting for her ROYAAL HIGHNESS liau wen ting. -.- okay. so ohwells, it was such an EATING TRIP and please, i got called a glutton for nothing?!!!!! -.-!!! gosh. all i did was introduced them to sum oh so loveely donuts that we like queued for 1hr + but hey thats so not my fault right! yeah so anw we queued n queued and i finally got my treaat. but wen ate like more then half of the cheese sausage meant for me. -.- LOL.
oh and FRIED MARS BARS ROCKK. SERIOUSLY. whee.

moving on! FRI
hmm lets see. went out with yixian, amanda low and eunice to raffles city. and wow once again i got blamed for choosing the place -.- cause yixian was complaining that it was faaarrrr. GAH. cant you ppl APPRECIATE! tsktsk. n like where else are there things to do huh. JEC is like walaooo super far for every1 la. -.- abit pissy ohwells. anw, we went BOWLING. :DD and our dear amanda low hu claimed that she couldnt bowl was the only person to get a strike -.- tshkkk. haha, new word in JOCETIONARY. tshkk. :D and auntaye of course. heehee. den we went to play bishi bashi (OH THE LOVE) i love bishi bashi like lots n lots n lots n lots :DDD yayy. xD hmm so thats about all we got lost on the way out though because of ms eunice ng's wonderful leading. haha. but in the end we got out la
like duh otherwise i wont be here typing eh -.-

wow raining really heavily now ): thats what the weather report said too oh no how am i like gonna go out for lunch gahhh. i so DO NOT WANT to eat instant mee at home

SAT
yay far by one of the funnest days :D went to escape with ex classmates and like ONE sch mate. haha. poor dk, he was the only niner there xD sorrayee. n there were two boys. cus all the vic guys backed out. gosh i seriously have not seen more wishy washy women then those in vic. GAH. want go dowan go want go dowan go. tskkkkk. okay so anw, sat on the inverter like 2 times CHAO FUN LA. but my thigh was horribly compressed >< bad bad bad thigh aches esp when they like suspended us upside down but overall, really fun :D YAY. but so many rides werent open la so angry. even rainbow and my dearrie viking la ))):
okay then it started raining. pls la we queued until like reaching le for the log flume thinggy den they dont let us go. plus i paid 1 buck for the friggin locker. like 1 buck just to cross over the log?!!! gah, which sam was joking was the holy log. pissy man. -.- so okay fine, we went to arcade. OMG ARCADE TOTALLY ROCKS LA! me mel n sam played the bishi bashi until we completed all the stages seriously it was super fun :D the stupid bball thing waste all my money like $1.05?!! somemore never record our score properly lor so stupiiddddd. hmph. but bishi bashi totally rocked n i have like a vid of dk dancing para para. there was like this pro there haha hes officially mel's idol xD super super super good man! :DDD lol dk, okay dont come and kill me but you look gay dancing para. xD hahahahahahhahaahah. okay, shant be evil. but its like yingliang who is evil. he's the one who asked me to record you. HAH. go kill him, NOT ME. :D
screamed at the bishi bashi thing until my voice was hoarse ohwell. (: funnnnnn.

yeah i figured this is rally a long post. not very interesting also i know but whatever. at least i posted ok! :D haha.

OH AND I WANT TAIWAN OKAY HOW CAN THEY FRIKIN CANCEL IT JUST BECAUSE OF ONE STUPID PROPOSAL LIKE MUST BE DONE 6MTHS BEFORE WHAT NONSENSE IS THAT WHO IS GONNA LIKE PLAN A TRIP LIKE 6 MTHS BEFORE AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID STUPID STUPIDDDDDDD! WHY CANT WE JUST GO THERE WITHOUT LIKE WHAT PLAYING SOFTBALL IN TAIWAN HUH!! I SO LOOKED FORWARD LA! UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH.
STUPIDDDDDDDDDDD I WANT TAIWANN!!!!!!!!!!!

okay okay, emotional outburst. *breathes in, breathes out. breathes in, breathes out. attempts to take a watermelon and smash it into half* okay, im done now. yepp, let of steam (: but doesnt mean im not angry. -.- gah.

hmm, long post le hope you guys are happayee. :D hee. okay, not done thinking about how im gonna get lunch yet. the rain's super heavy :/ wahhhh. im hungryy ><




<33 jocelyn(: love muchies, happy me. haha okay crapping. :D i love crap, dont you? :D